Monday, February 4, 2013

How I came to know the Lord 3/4 - Jesus came

Jesus came (cont from part 2)

By the time I start work, I have been to so many altar calls in churches over the years. An altar call is when the pastor asks you at the end of the message if you would like to accept God as your Lord and savior. My Christian friends always tell me that "during an altar call, open your heart, so that God can come in". So I tried doing that as best as I can in all the altar calls. I thought if God comes in, I would know He is real. But it never happened to me. So I never accepted God. I actually don't believe there is a God. And I told that to my Christian friends.

By the time God did the first thing for me (read the 2nd part of this testimony), I already knew He exists. It is not a problem for me anymore. That was the time I tried to explore becoming a Christian. I tried to tell a colleague B who was seen to be carrying a bible in the office that I am exploring to be a Christian. He did not respond. I told another colleague D who we know is a Christian. He did not help either. My sister was then attending a certain church so my wife and I went to attend the same church from time to time to explore. It wasn't the best experience. I did not understand worship. I did not understand why would an omnipotent God need his subjects to worship Him? It seems pretty egoistic to me. And we could not partake of the holy communion, being non-believers. I sometimes could understand the message and sometimes I could not. I was also unsure of the pastor of the church, who looked very uncharacteristic compared to how I had thought a pastor should look.

And then it happened.

In one service, I closed my eyes during an altar call. A cloud appeared in my stomach on the inside (the area just below the rib cage). I could not see this cloud. I can just sense it and what I knew is that it is a cloud. I don't know why. This cloud has feelings. Its feelings is that of a longing sadness. Like when we long for a loved one. It seemed to tell me: "why do you still not know me after such a long time?" The cloud once appeared began to move upwards inside me up towards my throat and once it reached my throat it disappeared. It must have been just a few seconds. But boy, did that few seconds make a lot of difference. Once that cloud appeared in me, my mind seemed immediately illuminated. I sensed the presence of a person to my right hand side. It seems to me that I had known this person all my life. He is from my primitive memory. Because I need no introduction to Him. Yet in my whole life I did not know Him. I saw a word "blood" written inside my head (it is a closed vision as my eyes are closed) letter by letter. I know then that this person is related to me by blood and not by water. This person is a "kinsman" and not a friend. In fact, when He appeared, I was blown away because He stands between me and my parents in relation to me. I always knew my parents to be the closest to me biologically and thus they are my closest relatives. But apparently He is closer. And I know He is FOR me. He is a person who will always bail me out. He will bail me out of every situation and He will pay for it Himself. If you ever want a rich person as your protector, well, He is that guy. When He on the scene, I am no longer afraid. Though He was standing across me to my right, I sense that in my facing the world, He is in front of me, back facing me, shielding me and facing my world for me. He will turn back and ask me: "what is it you need?" and then He positions me to His back while He settles the issue. Wow. He is so for me that even when all else has failed, He will be there. In my innermost being, all my life I had hoped for someone like Him, whether I had known it or not. And thank God there really is someone. I knew then my whole life I had not known him though He is in my primitive memory and I had known Him right from the beginning. Something has happened that causes this and I don't know what it is. But because it happened I was cut off I lost a great inheritance. The second word "inheritance" was written inside my head letter by letter.

All that was taking place as the cloud moved upwards. So it all happened very quickly. Once the cloud disappeared when it reached my throat, all the knowing disappeared and I become normal again. My heart was pumping very quickly and when I opened my eyes, tears flow. I then realized that tears had swelled uncontrollably when my eyes were closed. I was very embarrassed and I quickly wiped of my tears. My wife did not notice it. I told her we will be back again next week. And in the altar the week after, I had the exact same experience once I closed my eyes during the altar call - the cloud, the knowing, everything. That was when I decided that enough is enough. I made up my mind that I will accept the Jesus as my Savior the week after. I then revealed to my wife what happened. She was a free-thinker. We discussed and decided that we will accept the Lord the next week. (cont in part 4)

But then the Lord did a third thing for us....

No comments:

Post a Comment